Hearing his voice through the phone was like an echo of my dream. I could feel my face getting flustered. I took a deep breath, waiting for him to respond. I gulped.
"Yes, it's Zim. Listen pig-stink, I need you to do something for me." He was talking like he called all the time! I felt myself getting a little irritated. Almost like all the aggression I had from our past fights were beginning to rumble together in my head, like an earthquake that gradually builds up.
"Hold on a damn second, Zim!" I felt myself getting a little loud so I looked around real quick around my cubicle. Not only had no one seemed to have heard me, it looked like almost everyone had left for lunch. "Just what the hell are you calling me for? And what gives you the right to give me that tone? What the hell's going-" I was cut off by the robot screaming somewhere off into the background. Zim sighed into the phone agitatedly. I could picture him in my head squeezing two of his fingers on the bridge of where his nose should be with his eyes closed. I can't lie; it made me smile a little.
"Look." Zim started angrily. "If you are done with your feeble womanly blathering, I'd like to finish my request." ….. I was about to recant when my brain got stuck like a stick in a bike wheel. D-did…did he just call me womanly???? I must have been stuttering over words since so many were trying to escape my mouth at once. "Damn it, Dib! I can never talk to you when you're like this! Just come over to my house when you get off of work." he was so serious and from the sound of it out of patience. What could be bothering him so much? I just sighed and grumbled into the mouth piece. "Okay... I'll be over tonight then." Just then there was another scream from the robot. "TELL'EM TO BRING PIZZA!" Zim sighed again, but this time it was kind of cute. His voice got a lot softer, but not nicer. "And if you don't mind, could you please bring some pizza?" he seethed.
I tried not to laugh, but a piece of me felt like he was a totally different person. He acted like he'd been my best friend since childhood. Now that I think about it he kind of was. "What kind?" I asked casually like I'd done this a million times before. "The kind he can eat-" "CHOCOLATE!" the robot interrupted him. Zim groaned "Do they even make that?" he asked pleadingly. I couldn't help it; I laughed a little out loud. "I'll see what I can do."
I hung up the phone. Well that could have gone better. He was so shocked he couldn't even speak. For having such a fat head, he's so stupid. He hasn't changed at all. Maybe I shouldn't have called him at work. Oh well. My stupid little gir unit sat upside down on the couch. Of course he's calm now that I'm off the phone. I shrugged my shoulders and joined him, also upside down. "Whatcha watchin?" I mumbled to my little bot. "Scary Monkey." I grunted back. How could he always watched this? why is it still on the air??
Never mind. I had bigger things to worry about. Like how I'm going to get Dib to actually help me. We haven't spoken in years. Well I can see how it's mostly Zim's fault. I did stop going to school. I still don't see why he didn't come over anymore! Just because I dropped out doesn't mean he can't come over. I thought about the night when I broke into his house to borrow his computer. I guess he handled that pretty well for it being such a sudden intrusion. Especially since he's usually such a spaz.
I rolled off the couch and plopped onto the floor. I sat on the floor for a second before getting up. Walking into the kitchen I thought more about my actions. As the years went by on Earth I felt a little more mature, even though the earth's years were much shorter than Irk's. Shoving my gloved hands into my jacket packets, I leaned against the stove. I had planned on inviting Dib over to talk over dinner anyway. The conversation was going to be way too awkward to talk on the phone even IF Dib could have managed to talk properly. I read that humans liked to talk about the troubles of their days over their last meal before they slept. I wasn't going to eat and he wasn't going to bed, but I wanted to make the conversation as comfortable as possible. I had even looked up a recipe for earth food; a dish called spaghetti. It was simple enough and seemed to be popular so I decided to cook the slimy meat globed and acidic water noodles. The humans must have a thick stomach lining.
I grimaced as I finished the sauce and the meat. I settled all the dishes on the stove on a low temp so it'd be ready and warm when the Dib got here. I had even baked some of the spiced bread they eat with it. I laughed upon the irony that the protective oven gloves only had space for three fingers like mine. This was the only time I'd actually ever USED the stove. I avoided cooking as much as possible so not to remember the horrible life I lead on Foodcortia. I'm surprised the Dib didnt ask me a million questions about that after my return since my being kidnapped ruined his presentation on how I was a monster. I was thinking so hard about the past that when I heard the crashing noise of Gir beating his head against the window it nearly scared me out of my damn boots. I sighed and stomped back into the living room picking Gir up by his dome. "I've got to figure out what to do with YOU before the earth boy gets here..."
"Oh my fucking god, that fucking thing has to be fucking broken!" I bitched to myself about the lounge room's universal clock. It had only been two hours since Zim had called. I finally got lunch but my brain was so focused on Zim's phone call that I couldn't even think about being hungry. Why was he enveloped in my brain so badly? I just kept thinking about his skin and the way it felt in my dream. Or his eyes and the way they looked at me when I teased him. What the fuck was I going to do when I have to sit in the same room with him? it's going to take all my energy just not to stare. I let my face fall flat onto the table and let out a small groan. Just as I did I heard the door open.
"Son? Are you feeling alright?" Mother of God. Literally the LAST PERSON I wanted to talk to.
"No, Dad I don't. I think I just broke my nose on the table." I spat back. "Well then maybe you shouldn't slam your face into it. Can't blame the table, son." he must have been on lunch too. He started to dig into the fidge for something that probably didnt belong to him. He's the. Ig shit so what should care? If it wasnt for him, the workers wouldn't have the money to buy lunch anyway. At least, that's what I'm sure he thought. He sat down at a different table then me. I'm sure he wouldn't want to be caught socializing with me by choice.
"Son, why don't you go home early today? I can tell you've had a lot on your mind recently, but it's been really bad today. I'd hate for you to be distracted and get hurt during out lab today." he pulled his coat collar down just for a moment to take a bite out of the sandwich he had gotten from the fridge. I felt the incredulous face that I was making as I looked up to my father. Was he really trying to help me? Had he really noticed all of that on his own?
"R-really Dad?" I asked dumb folded. He just nodded, finished his sandwich and left without another word. I looked up at the clock. Its was only around three so i'd be clocking out almost eight hours early. I quietly stared at the time for a moment before sliding my card through the clockout and hauled ass to my car. I felt a small doze of dajavu when I thought about picking up the pizza Zim had asked for. Where the fuck was I supposed to find chocolate pizza?!
I have plenty of time before Dib shows up, but I decided to go ahead and throw Gir in his box. It was basically a empty stone block with a stuffed money and a tv screen inside. I left the block in the livingroom with me though so I could make sure he wasn't trying to get out. I started to clean the livingroom of all of Gir's trash and food. He was more like my smeet than my minion.
It was so ridiculous that I, Zim, was cleaning the house so the human could feel comfortable. At the same time, I don't want the human to think I'm a slob. How shameful that would be? Gir called out from his box. "Is the pretty boy coming over?"
I was about to holler back to him, but his words made me catch my tongue. For a human Dib was kind of pretty, even though the word was usually used for girls. I definitely didn't think Dib looked like a girl, but his slick hair and big brown eyes did make him pretty. Especially with his fair skin. As far as hideous space beasts go, Dib was quiet a sultry one. I wonder how he looks now. I haven't seen him since that night. I caught myself imagining what he could look like, but for some reason I kept thinking about his body. Ooo…what if he was taller? I felt my antenna get jittery. I was embarrassed that I thought about Dib like that, even for a moment. I patted my antenna down, trying to calm them. I'll definitely have to wear my hood while he's around now. I wouldn't know what to say if they started buzzing while we were talking. Come to think of it.... I looked down to my hoodie. I had been wearing it for a few days and I got it dirty while I was cooking. If I'm going out of my way to clean the house I might as well change my clothes. I went to pull on the end of my hoodie and pulled it up. When I pulled it over my head, that's when I heard the door knob turn.
"I.....brought the pizza."